I hope he really didnt commit suicide. I pray he didnt. I am soooo scared i wanna cry!!! i cant lose him!!!!!

“I am done holding my tongue like a bible. There is too much war in every verse of our silence.”
– Andrea Gibson (via tumbledryhigh)

jnpeterson:

“I know this world is far from perfect.
I am not the type to mistake a streetlight for the moon.
I know our wounds are deep as the Atlantic.
But every ocean has a shoreline
and every shoreline has a tide
that is constantly returning
to wake the songbirds in our hands, 
to wake the music in our bones,
to place one fearless kiss on the mouth of that brave river
that has to run through the center of our hearts
to find its way home.”　

“Your ignorance keeps dismembering every piece of patience I have left.”
– Andrea Gibson (via betweentheraindrops)

I hate knowing my boyfriend constantly wants to kill himself. It kills me knowing he is sooo unhappy and i cant do anything but say “I am always here for you” and “i love you.”  I wish i could make all the people who are making him feel like shit magically disappear. I am scared to lose him, and i hate the thought of it. It always makes me cry. He means so much to me, i have grown way too attached to him not because i love him but because he is special and sweet and hes just amazing but no one realizes it because he acts like no fucks are given and he doesnt care for people easily.  You know how people say opposites attract? Yea well me and him prove that saying. I wont be okay if he dies. I wont be okay at 16 nor at 60. I have never had to deal with losing someone that close to me.  Sure i lost my Grandma from my dads side but that effected me for like 2 hours. And then i lose my grandpa from my dad side as well but that one stuck to me longer because i hated myself for not talking to him the one time i actually had a chance. I wont be able to get over or deal with losing my boyfriend. I sound really selfish because my post is mostly I,I,I,I and not what HE wants and not HIS side of the story. Well i dont care, i have a right to be selfish. Everything gets better you just need to be alive to see it. I had to talk myself out of suicide several times because i knew things have to get better over time and nathan, nick and jason will need me at some point to be alive. I never met Jason and I want to met him when his adoptive parents tell him about my family and i and i can give him his journal, but i need to be alive to see him. Its those little things like that ,that keep me alive. I wish he could just find something to hold on to, to keep him going and not give up. He is too strong to give up. I know even the strongest of people will break but he an build himself back up, i know he can. FALL DOWN SEVEN STAND UP EIGHT. right?

Mirror mirror on the wall, why aren’t I beautiful at all? I tried my best to make you proud but ended up destroying myself somehow.

(Source: findthelighttt, via jepomme)